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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Good Morning Star Shine!!

Let the faux-fur start flying Baconteers!!

Michelin has just announced they are back on the slash and burn trail, only this time it ain't New Yawk but San Fran-cizzo.

And I for one can't wait for all of the pouty, petulant faces and serious back-patters to emerge. Oh, this is going to be good! No doubt this will be talk of the town for insufferable Chowhounders, the Children of the Damned (aka those who work under Michael Bauer), and foodies who take themselves way, way, (did I mention way?) too seriously.

Hopefully there will be no suicides, but if there are, hopefully they won't be "death by Golden Gate Bridge" cause we are soooo tired of this stupid "suicide barrier" discussion. Please, I myself may reserve the option to jump from that sacred spot should anything catastrophic ever happen. It's my right too.

Of course, being San Francisco and all, I'm sure there will be some folks who'll attempt to subvert the dominant paradigm and go about casting their own stars for everything from upstanding Muni Drivers to Best Massage Parlor To Get A Happy Ending.

The Board of Supes (or is that Soups?) will probably pass a resolution decrying 3 stars as "numerist" or "symbolistic" and cause a mandatory knee-jerk from the right-wing reactionaries who will sue to prevent the Board from commenting on future Michelin ratings.

Maybe that guy over at Dive will even dole out a few for best dive food in a neighborhood you're most likely to disappear and never be heard again from.

Hum...

Me? I'll be pestering my Corsican former co-worker who seems to know everyone who remotely speaks the language of love in this provincial town to see if any strange fellows happen to be floating about inquiring if Horse is on the menu.

Other than that, I'll be waiting for the ax to drop...and drop with a mighty thud I pray it does.

My guesses for who gets sweet lovin' and those who get to sleep on the cold, wet spot:

Sweet Lovin':
French Laundry
Manresa
La Folie
Bouchon
Chez Panisse

Cold Wet Spot:
Slanted Door
Gary Danko
Boulevard
Oliveto
(or practically any ethnic restaurant that isn't French)

Oh boy. Talking about a political year. Forget the governor's race, there will be more mud slinging, chicken squawking, shit talking, and general politicking over this Michelin thing than this tiny town has seen in a long time, and I for one will be enjoying every single minute of it!

Stock up on your wetnaps people, cause this city is about to get messy.

k.

4 Comments:

Blogger Guy said...

I take it that this Michelin thing is pretty important then.
I looked at the Chronicle's top 100 and I've been to 1. And I think it was by accident.
I had elk the other night though, that was tasty.

Biggles

12:58 PM  
Blogger Dive said...

No, not really.

But I'm one of those people who find it hard passing a copy of People magazine and not wanting to thumb through it.

In the end, who gets a star or not is pretty meaningless to me. I just like the drama.

k.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Guy said...

Oh cool! DRAMA !!!

Too bad it doesn't involve teenagers and a mysterious Dr. X.

8:35 AM  
Blogger bobgirrl said...

Well, it's about time. There are quite a few "Chronicle 4 star restaurants" around these parts that could stand a good whipping into shape.

8:39 PM  

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